Saturday, February 26, 2011

homemade nutella omfg

NUTELLA omg


This was bound to happen eventually.

Anybody who has spent five minutes talking to me knows how much I love Nutella. Seriously. The Ferrero company should compensate me for being a one-woman PR campaign for them-- & such compensation should of course be in the form of multiple jars of Nutella.
Ferrero definitely needs my help. First I think they should rename their delectable chocolate-hazelnut spread. Only the 'nut' part of Nutella is relevant in any way-- I think they could pick a way more descriptive name to push more product. Like, call it what it is-- Spreadable Heaven? Sex in a Jar? (Tagline should read, "better than Midol!") I mean seriously. This stuff is way too good to be legal.

I first discovered this European "spread" a few years ago. It instantly became my favorite thing to spread on toast (sorry, peanut butter). I quickly went from a simple slather-on-toast to putting Nutella into any and every dessert recipe I could think of (see recipes for my hand-made pop-tarts and a Nutella swirled bunt cake). Last summer on my 23rd birthday, I adamantly demanded that NOBODY make me a birthday cake, that I HAD to make it myself, because it HAS to have Nutella in it. Yeah, it's like that with me. Nothing comes between me and my Nutella.

Lately I've been in a bit of a 'food rut', just making my same old trusty stand-bys, haven't really had time to tackle anything new. I was perusing FoodGawker.com when my friend Dago posted a link on my Facebook wall that read, "DEEP FRIED NUTELLA". It was all downhill from there. I'm not a huge fan of fried things, but reading the recipe did get my mouth watering for some Nutella. I checked my pantry-- my jar of Nutella had been totally scraped clean. I was out. I started to get sweaty and panic.

And then I got a brilliant idea- instead of buying a new jar, I could fulfill my craving for Nutella and my desire to make something new in the kitchen-- I would make my own Nutella. Yes. Its like my two favorite worlds colliding. Why hadn't I thought of this sooner?? After all, the American version of Nutella is made differently than it's more respectable European counterpart. Instead of sugar, its high fructose corn syrup. It's loaded with palm oil to keep the texture smooth, and enough preservatives that it needs no refrigeration. (Also, a handful of hazelnuts is pricier than a huge jar of Nutella, which makes you sort of wonder how they get it so cheap...) I hate to knock my favorite thing in the world, but these are hard facts to ignore. So I set out to make a (slightly) healthier, homemade version of Nutella. I found a dozen recipes, no two were alike in any way. It's one of those really flexible recipes, and can be tweaked to your taste.

The biggest "complaint" I found on the food blogosphere about homemade Nutella (yeah some idiots actually had complaints....) was that the smooth texture was difficult to replicate. Well, this is a total non-issue to me. I have strange tastes-- I like my toast burnt, my cereal dry... and apparently, I loooove Nutella with a little bit of grit. This was so good, I'm not sure that I'll ever go back to the packaged stuff.

***Side note: I learned something today. Evaporated milk is just regular milk with a lot of the water taken out, and it's about 60% the amount of the milk it was made from. So if you ever don't have milk, like me, a can of evaporated milk with an equal part of water can substitute just fine.
******Side side note: I learned also that something exists called "powdered milk". Weeeirrrdd... At first I couldn't find it at H-E-B, then I noticed it on the bottom-most shelf of the baking isle. The entire can was printed in spanish, but COINCIDENTALLY (or not...?) the powdered milk was manufactured by Ferrero!

hazelnuts

Ingredients

1.5 c whole milk
2/3 c powdered milk
1.5 c raw hazelnuts
1 c dark chocolate chips
1 c milk chocolate chips
1 tbsp honey/agave nectar


This is a surprisingly quick and easy recipe to make. You need a good food processor-- if yours is a small one, cut the recipe in half.

1. Place hazelnuts on parchment paper on a cookie sheet. Toast them suckers for about 10 minutes at 350 degrees, until they are brown and fragrant.

2. This step is optional (Skip it if you like grit). Place the toasted hazelnuts in a tea cloth and rub them around until their dark brown skins come off. This is easier the longer they are toasted.

3. Throw the hazelnuts in the food processor and grind until it makes a peanut butter-like consistency. At first it will just be chopped hazelnuts, then grains of hazelnut... but keep on processing until it is thick and wet looking and all sticking together.

4. Place the milk and powdered milk in a saucepan on the stove and heat until hot (but don't boil it). Gradually toss in the chocolate chips and whisk constantly until smooth.

5. Add the chocolate-milk mixture to the food processor and mix that shit up. It will be a lot runnier than actual Nutella but keep in mind that is because it is VERY hot. It will become spreadable once it cools off.

6. Pour your heaven into a jar and refrigerate. Enjoy!!

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