homemade nutella omfg

This was bound to happen eventually.

Anybody who has spent five minutes talking to me knows how much I love Nutella. Seriously. The Ferrero company should compensate me for being a one-woman PR campaign for them-- & such compensation should of course be in the form of multiple jars of Nutella.
Ferrero definitely needs my help. First I think they should rename their delectable chocolate-hazelnut spread. Only the 'nut' part of Nutella is relevant in any way-- I think they could pick a way more descriptive name to push more product. Like, call it what it is-- Spreadable Heaven? Sex in a Jar? (Tagline should read, "better than Midol!") I mean seriously. This stuff is way too good to be legal.

I first discovered this European "spread" a few years ago. It instantly became my favorite thing to spread on toast (sorry, peanut butter). I quickly went from a simple slather-on-toast to putting Nutella into any and every dessert recipe I could think of (see recipes for my hand-made pop-tarts and a Nutella swirled bunt cake). Last summer on my 23rd birthday, I adamantly demanded that NOBODY make me a birthday cake, that I HAD to make it myself, because it HAS to have Nutella in it. Yeah, it's like that with me. Nothing comes between me and my Nutella.

Lately I've been in a bit of a 'food rut', just making my same old trusty stand-bys, haven't really had time to tackle anything new. I was perusing FoodGawker.com when my friend Dago posted a link on my Facebook wall that read, "DEEP FRIED NUTELLA". It was all downhill from there. I'm not a huge fan of fried things, but reading the recipe did get my mouth watering for some Nutella. I checked my pantry-- my jar of Nutella had been totally scraped clean. I was out. I started to get sweaty and panic.

And then I got a brilliant idea- instead of buying a new jar, I could fulfill my craving for Nutella and my desire to make something new in the kitchen-- I would make my own Nutella. Yes. Its like my two favorite worlds colliding. Why hadn't I thought of this sooner?? After all, the American version of Nutella is made differently than it's more respectable European counterpart. Instead of sugar, its high fructose corn syrup. It's loaded with palm oil to keep the texture smooth, and enough preservatives that it needs no refrigeration. (Also, a handful of hazelnuts is pricier than a huge jar of Nutella, which makes you sort of wonder how they get it so cheap...) I hate to knock my favorite thing in the world, but these are hard facts to ignore. So I set out to make a (slightly) healthier, homemade version of Nutella. I found a dozen recipes, no two were alike in any way. It's one of those really flexible recipes, and can be tweaked to your taste.

The biggest "complaint" I found on the food blogosphere about homemade Nutella (yeah some idiots actually had complaints....) was that the smooth texture was difficult to replicate. Well, this is a total non-issue to me. I have strange tastes-- I like my toast burnt, my cereal dry... and apparently, I loooove Nutella with a little bit of grit. This was so good, I'm not sure that I'll ever go back to the packaged stuff.

***Side note: I learned something today. Evaporated milk is just regular milk with a lot of the water taken out, and it's about 60% the amount of the milk it was made from. So if you ever don't have milk, like me, a can of evaporated milk with an equal part of water can substitute just fine.
******Side side note: I learned also that something exists called "powdered milk". Weeeirrrdd... At first I couldn't find it at H-E-B, then I noticed it on the bottom-most shelf of the baking isle. The entire can was printed in spanish, but COINCIDENTALLY (or not...?) the powdered milk was manufactured by Ferrero!



Ingredients

1.5 c whole milk
2/3 c powdered milk
1.5 c raw hazelnuts
1 c dark chocolate chips
1 c milk chocolate chips
1 tbsp honey/agave nectar


This is a surprisingly quick and easy recipe to make. You need a good food processor-- if yours is a small one, cut the recipe in half.

1. Place hazelnuts on parchment paper on a cookie sheet. Toast them suckers for about 10 minutes at 350 degrees, until they are brown and fragrant.

2. This step is optional (Skip it if you like grit). Place the toasted hazelnuts in a tea cloth and rub them around until their dark brown skins come off. This is easier the longer they are toasted.

3. Throw the hazelnuts in the food processor and grind until it makes a peanut butter-like consistency. At first it will just be chopped hazelnuts, then grains of hazelnut... but keep on processing until it is thick and wet looking and all sticking together.

4. Place the milk and powdered milk in a saucepan on the stove and heat until hot (but don't boil it). Gradually toss in the chocolate chips and whisk constantly until smooth.

5. Add the chocolate-milk mixture to the food processor and mix that shit up. It will be a lot runnier than actual Nutella but keep in mind that is because it is VERY hot. It will become spreadable once it cools off.

6. Pour your heaven into a jar and refrigerate. Enjoy!!

The best. pasta. dish. ever.

Yeah, its creamy and green. Yeah it looks a bit funky. But this is THE tastiest pasta dish I have ever tried. And I made it myself! With just a handful of simple ingredients and a food processor. The entire recipe takes about 20 minutes to whip up. There is no cream in this pasta at all. What makes it so creamy and good then? AVOCADO (omg yummy).

This is definitely the good twin to alfredo's evil twin. When made with whole wheat pasta this is so healthy. Avocado is loaded with monounsaturated fatty acids (that's the "good" kind of fat) and has more potassium than bananas! (Also note: avocado is a berry. Who knew?)


Ingredients
1 medium avocado, peeled & pitted
1/2 lemon
Fresh Basil
2 big garlic cloves
Lemon Zest
Salt & Pepper
6 oz. whole wheat pasta







Throw the avocado in the food processor with fresh basil and garlic. Squeeze juice from lemon half into the mixture. Blend until creamy and add salt and pepper to taste. Lemon zest is optional, but it adds a really nice texture. Boil the pasta and strain it. Immediately throw the avocado sauce in and mix well. Serve immediately!

Sugar Cookies!

I'm not sharing the recipe I used because it was FAR from perfect. It was a great attempt though, and my grandmas sure appreciated them. One is christian, the other a Jew, so I was forced to go with the innocuous "snowflake" design which only evokes thoughts of winter. Ain't they pretty?
Definitely keeping sugar cookies on my list of things to perfect. Expect to see another post on this soon...

Spinach Feta Puffs

MMmm!!!



Ingredients
1 lb or a bag of fresh spinach
4-8 oz of feta cheese
3 cloves garlic
1/2 yellow onion, diced
2-4 tbsp butter or olive oil
2 frozen puff pastry sheets


These are easy to make, especially since I buy frozen puff pastry sheets. First, thaw the puff pastry sheets for at least 30 minutes, you can do this while preparing the spinach mixture. Melt 2 tablespoons of butter (or olive oil) into the pan and sautee first the onions, until slightly browned. Then add the garlic for the last few minutes. Add a few handfuls of spinach and sautee a small amount at a time, adding the remaining butter as needed to keep the mixture coated. Once done, throw the mixture into a colander to drain. Add to a bowl with the feta cheese and mix the two together quickly. Then, coat the spinach-feta on the unfolded parchment paper sheets, leaving a margin on all sides. Roll the sheet up, and cut slices as thick as you want them. Place on parchment paper on a cookie sheet and bake until golden brown, anywhere from 20-40 minutes depending on how thick yours were cut. Yum!!!

Pho!!

My favorite vietnamese dish is definitely pho soup. If you don't know, pho is vietnamese "beef noodle" soup. That makes it sound so plain- there is so much more to it than that. I can't believe I can get a large order of it, complete with fresh basil, cilantro, and everything else, for just $7. It cost way more than that to make it because of the long ingredient list. It is a simple soup however, so if you're feeding a crowd or have a few ingredients growing in your backyard, it's worth making. The best part is, the broth is given alongside all of the fresh ingredients, so each person can assemble their own bowl to their liking. Can't go wrong there!



Ingredients

Beef broth (I use a low sodium version)
Rice noodles
1/2-1 lb steak pieces, brisket, chicken or even tofu (it needn't be beef)
1 red onion, sliced into thin strips
fresh cilantro
fresh basil
green onion
garlic cloves
jalapeno or thai chili pepper, sliced
bean sprouts
lime slices

Crawfish Boil!

Crawfish, crayfish, crawdads, mudbugs.. whatever your region calls the little fuckers... this was the most unique cooking experience I've had so far. For one, I had never had crawfish, ever. Especially after dissecting one in a biology lab-- I said, "people SUCK the heads out of these things?" with bewildered amazement. But, always in the spirit of trying new things (and being quite hungry for some spicy seafood as well) I decided to give it a go. It was in my friend Jared's backyard; his good friend from Louisiana had all the equipment; the big outdoor pot, the propane tank, and a gigantic wooden spoon. Jared and I went to Fiesta up in on 35N to buy their last bag of the crawfishdaddybugs, a 42 pound sack, to be exact. It's the tail end of crawfish season, so we were in luck. A few pounds of red potatoes, a couple ears of corn, lots of lemons, garlic, and a big bag of Louisiana brand crawfish and crab boil seasoning. (The seasoning weighed over a pound itself).



First, what we do is cut open the bag of crawfish. We didn't have a watercooler or tank, and even though I suggested a cheap kiddie pool to do the trick, Jared had already sliced open the bag... in his bathtub. Crazy huh? I bet its going to smell like crawfish in there for WEEKS.



The first thing you do is "purge" the crawfish. Or, to be more accurate, you let the crawfish purge themselves. Since they're mud-dwellers, and eat things in mud, their digestive tracks are dirty and muddy. We fill the tub with enough water to submerge the little bugs, then we poured a very large amount of Kosher salt over them. Stir, wait a few minutes, then rinse. The water turns dark brown as these little salt-averted creatures puke up their guts. SO appetizing to think about! We rinse them clean, and then go prepare the other foods.

We read a great deal online about crawfish boils, and decided on adding powdered seasoning, lemon halves (squeezed and the rind thrown in), corn on the cob, red potatoes, 10-12 cloves of garlic, and, you know, the crawfish.


add spice, take a whiff

First, we bring the water to a boil. Then, add the seasoning, and wait until the boil is rolling and fast. Then we add in the vegetables in the colander, letting them cook for 5 minutes or so, and then adding the crawfish. (We only used about 20 pounds in the first batch... around half of them). Once the crawfish are in, you return the pot to a rapid boil. Once its bubblin', we turn off the propane and cover those suckers. Letting them steep for 20-30 minutes (We were impatient and went for 15), lets the little bugs soak up all those cajun spices. After that, lift the colander out and pour that delicious feast over a bunch of newspapers. This is definitely an OUTSIDE activity. So messy, and gross. Ten hungry boys, and only I had the female mind to think to bring a roll of towels. And hot oven mitts.






And BOYYY, howdy, was it DELICIOUS! I wish this were something you could cook in smaller batches. (I'm sure you could, in a tall pasta pot on the stove, but since every crawfish only yields a bite or two of good meat, you wouldn't make enough for more than one person.)

So, there it is! My first ever crawfish boil. Now to go bug Jared for some leftovers...

Wheat Berry & Bean Salad

1/2 cup wheat berries, dry
1 cup frozen edamame
1 can black beans
1/2 finely chopped red onion
2 roma tomatos, chopped
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 tbsp spicy mustard
salt and pepper, to taste