homemade nutella omfg

This was bound to happen eventually.

Anybody who has spent five minutes talking to me knows how much I love Nutella. Seriously. The Ferrero company should compensate me for being a one-woman PR campaign for them-- & such compensation should of course be in the form of multiple jars of Nutella.
Ferrero definitely needs my help. First I think they should rename their delectable chocolate-hazelnut spread. Only the 'nut' part of Nutella is relevant in any way-- I think they could pick a way more descriptive name to push more product. Like, call it what it is-- Spreadable Heaven? Sex in a Jar? (Tagline should read, "better than Midol!") I mean seriously. This stuff is way too good to be legal.

I first discovered this European "spread" a few years ago. It instantly became my favorite thing to spread on toast (sorry, peanut butter). I quickly went from a simple slather-on-toast to putting Nutella into any and every dessert recipe I could think of (see recipes for my hand-made pop-tarts and a Nutella swirled bunt cake). Last summer on my 23rd birthday, I adamantly demanded that NOBODY make me a birthday cake, that I HAD to make it myself, because it HAS to have Nutella in it. Yeah, it's like that with me. Nothing comes between me and my Nutella.

Lately I've been in a bit of a 'food rut', just making my same old trusty stand-bys, haven't really had time to tackle anything new. I was perusing FoodGawker.com when my friend Dago posted a link on my Facebook wall that read, "DEEP FRIED NUTELLA". It was all downhill from there. I'm not a huge fan of fried things, but reading the recipe did get my mouth watering for some Nutella. I checked my pantry-- my jar of Nutella had been totally scraped clean. I was out. I started to get sweaty and panic.

And then I got a brilliant idea- instead of buying a new jar, I could fulfill my craving for Nutella and my desire to make something new in the kitchen-- I would make my own Nutella. Yes. Its like my two favorite worlds colliding. Why hadn't I thought of this sooner?? After all, the American version of Nutella is made differently than it's more respectable European counterpart. Instead of sugar, its high fructose corn syrup. It's loaded with palm oil to keep the texture smooth, and enough preservatives that it needs no refrigeration. (Also, a handful of hazelnuts is pricier than a huge jar of Nutella, which makes you sort of wonder how they get it so cheap...) I hate to knock my favorite thing in the world, but these are hard facts to ignore. So I set out to make a (slightly) healthier, homemade version of Nutella. I found a dozen recipes, no two were alike in any way. It's one of those really flexible recipes, and can be tweaked to your taste.

The biggest "complaint" I found on the food blogosphere about homemade Nutella (yeah some idiots actually had complaints....) was that the smooth texture was difficult to replicate. Well, this is a total non-issue to me. I have strange tastes-- I like my toast burnt, my cereal dry... and apparently, I loooove Nutella with a little bit of grit. This was so good, I'm not sure that I'll ever go back to the packaged stuff.

***Side note: I learned something today. Evaporated milk is just regular milk with a lot of the water taken out, and it's about 60% the amount of the milk it was made from. So if you ever don't have milk, like me, a can of evaporated milk with an equal part of water can substitute just fine.
******Side side note: I learned also that something exists called "powdered milk". Weeeirrrdd... At first I couldn't find it at H-E-B, then I noticed it on the bottom-most shelf of the baking isle. The entire can was printed in spanish, but COINCIDENTALLY (or not...?) the powdered milk was manufactured by Ferrero!



Ingredients

1.5 c whole milk
2/3 c powdered milk
1.5 c raw hazelnuts
1 c dark chocolate chips
1 c milk chocolate chips
1 tbsp honey/agave nectar


This is a surprisingly quick and easy recipe to make. You need a good food processor-- if yours is a small one, cut the recipe in half.

1. Place hazelnuts on parchment paper on a cookie sheet. Toast them suckers for about 10 minutes at 350 degrees, until they are brown and fragrant.

2. This step is optional (Skip it if you like grit). Place the toasted hazelnuts in a tea cloth and rub them around until their dark brown skins come off. This is easier the longer they are toasted.

3. Throw the hazelnuts in the food processor and grind until it makes a peanut butter-like consistency. At first it will just be chopped hazelnuts, then grains of hazelnut... but keep on processing until it is thick and wet looking and all sticking together.

4. Place the milk and powdered milk in a saucepan on the stove and heat until hot (but don't boil it). Gradually toss in the chocolate chips and whisk constantly until smooth.

5. Add the chocolate-milk mixture to the food processor and mix that shit up. It will be a lot runnier than actual Nutella but keep in mind that is because it is VERY hot. It will become spreadable once it cools off.

6. Pour your heaven into a jar and refrigerate. Enjoy!!

Nutella Swirled Bundt Cake

Interesting note!
When, at my parents lakehouse, I decided to make a bundt cake, my mom told me her bundt pan was the AUTHENTIC bundt, and she showed me the engraving on the bottom that said "Nordic Ware". Sure enough she was right! Nordic Ware trademarked the bundt in 1950. Read all about the history of this interesting-shaped cake here.

So, I chose to do a nutella swirl cake for two reasons:

1. I LOVE nutella, duhhh.
2. I have never "swirled" a cake before

For the cake recipe, I used the tried-and-true "Basic Yellow Cake" recipe from Martha Stewart (the "other" Martha, as my mom is a Martha, too.) The recipe can be found here. Her recipe calls for one 8-inch cake (about 3 cups of batter). To fit my authentic bundt pan, I doubled her recipe, but if your pan is bigger or smaller, you should adjust accordingly. I will print the recipe doubled as I executed it.



Ingredients
2 sticks unsalted butter at room temperature
2 2/3 cups cake flour (not self rising)
2 cups sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
4 eggs
2 tsp baking powder
pinch of salt
1 cup milk




1. Cream butter and sugar with an electric mixer. Add eggs one at a time. Add Vanilla.
2. Sift together flour, baking powder and salt
3. Add flour mixture and milk to the butter mixture in small, alternating increments


The Nutella Batter
4. Take 1 cup nutella, blend with one egg
5. Add about 1/3 or slightly less of the cake batter to the nutella mixture and blend



6. Now that you have two batters, marble them together in the bundt pan by layering them and swirling with a knife.
7. Bake at 350 for about an hour
8. Dust with confectioners sugar or, if you really want to go all the way, a thin layer of nutella :-D !!

Hand Made Pop-Tarts

Pop tarts were a favorite of mine as a kid. I used to eat them even if I didn't prefer the pastry's specific flavor- I would just eat the crust off of it all around. But have you ever looked at the ingredient list? If not, know this: it includes bleached, processed flour with tons of preservatives and flavor "enhancers". Also, the box says they are "made with real fruit" (which I suppose isn't a lie) and yet a closer examination of the label reveals that the "real fruit" content is really "less than 2%". Not to mention all the added high fructose corn syrup-- yikes!!! Read a nutrition label and ingredient list here, from the Kellog website directly. Now, this isn't to say that my home-made pop tarts are necessarily a health food (as I have always viewed any pastry as a dessert rather than a breakfast) but at least they are void of all of this American, corporate, factory-made bullshit. Plus, they are way, way yummier.

First, know that pie dough is one of the trickiest things to make! It seems so simple; it is, after all, a mixture of simply flour, butter, sugar and water! They are the most basic ingredients of baking-- but don't let that fool you! While the recipe seems easy, it's the technique that makes the difference between a hard, crunchy blanket of butter and a flakey, delicious pie crust! My favorite foodie blog, The Purple Foodie, recently posted a GREAT pie dough 101, complete with tons of very helpful hints! I highly suggest reading it if you aren't already an expert at pie dough! And even if you are- you might learn something.
So here's how I did it...



**note** This is a doubled recipe, as the original only makes one 9'inch pie crust, and I wanted to make a few more pop tarts than that. If you want, go ahead and half the recipe.


Crust (Basic Pie Dough) into Pop-Tarts!

Ingredients
3 cups flour
3 sticks butter
4 tbsp confectioner's sugar
1/3 cup ice water (more or less)
egg whites, beaten


preheat: 400 F

1. In a mixing bowl, whisk together flour and confectioner's sugar.

2. Dice butter into cubes; If you're using a pastry smashing device (which I don't have at the moment), larger chunks are okay. If you're doing this by hand (like me!) the smaller the cubes, the better! Work butter into mixture with smasher (or hands) until it is crumbly, with the biggest chunks of butter left pea-sized.

3. Mix in the ice water with a fork a spoon at a time, until the dough sticks together but isn't too dry.

4. Refrigerate ball of dough for about an hour.

5. Take a fist-sized ball of dough. Work into a rectangle on a floured board, roll dough out. Scoop either jam, peanut butter, Nutella, chocolate pieces, apple slices, or whatever else you want onto one half of the rolled-out rectangle. Fold the dough over; crimp the sides with a fork or fingers.

6. Place pastries on parchment paper or a VERY well-greased baking sheet. Brush with beaten egg white and dust with a big of sugar if you want.

7. Bake 15-20 minutes, "or until golden brown" (ahhh num!)


Let cool and enjoy!